Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
