I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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