Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
a search helicopter?!
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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