I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
