i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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