some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
