I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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