I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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