so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
