What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.