I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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