Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
