my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
