I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
