well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
