well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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