You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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