C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
