Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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