You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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