Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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