i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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