We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
