i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
