I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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