I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
