I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
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and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
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You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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