Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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