This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
