So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
