shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
