Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
