Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
