everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
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