shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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