How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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