Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
