I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
