Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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