xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
