Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
