It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
