They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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