so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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