I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
