I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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