her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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