you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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