I hate all girls vehemently.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
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When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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