what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
