that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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