Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
