I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
