No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
