I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
