Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
