And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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