so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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