My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
