You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
