Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
