Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
