hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
