I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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