she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
