At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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